When things in life seem to always go wrong, one of the most difficult things to do is to try to look for that silver lining. Before long, we find ourselves focusing on the negatives, taking any and everything for granted. As a result of this,
we run the risk of becoming ungrateful, isolating ourselves from those who love us and blocking out the good the world has to offer. This is why having an Attitude of Gratitude is so important. Looking for the positives, being thankful
and appreciating even the smallest things in life, is one of the best ways one can obtain a sense of inner peace – a feeling of happiness.
Coming into recovery from active using and drinking, I possessed a rap sheet drenched in thoughtlessness, resistance to self-responsibility, and an inability to commit to positive change – I was living a life that consisted of running over whoever represented
an idea or notion contrary to whatever was pleasurable to me at the time. I knew no limits, no caring and had no idea or appreciation for constraints or boundaries. Moderation was foreign to my deranged vocabulary; ultra-extremism in active addiction
was what turned my engine. Full throttle, none stop, all the time was the result whenever my being was induced with crack-cocaine. Other mood and mind-altering substances, like alcohol and marijuana, converted me at a slower pace but I’d eventually
end up stepping on the throttle. My disease of addiction always made sure I ended up where my obsession, compulsion and madness would instantly propel me into super overdrive, quick, fast and in a hurry – I’d be literally flirting with death on a
moment to moment basis.
My Journey to surrender was an extended and excruciating one, but I’m so Thankful and Grateful that it was drawn out and painful for me. I remain very remorseful for stringing along my family and loved ones, whom I subconsciously dragged on that perilous
journey. Pain, worry, fear, and more pain forced me into enough Willingness and Openness to ask for, and then follow, the suggestions and Guidance of 12-steppers. There was no other way for me! I needed to do EXACTLY what they were offering in order
to stay alive and for my life to change.
It’s been over 12 years since I’ve experienced that madness, and it’s only through the Grace and presence of POWER GREATER, within the 12-Steps of AA, that I have been able to live a life today I recognize only as Marvelous and Miraculous.
I was told that my actions are so loud, you cannot hear what I’m saying – that the 12 steps are action steps – that my Gratitude speaks, or doesn’t speak, from the Motion of my Actions. I was told to desperately embrace and not forsake
the Little Things, like being where I say I’m going to be, when I say I’m going to be there or remembering to say “Thank You” on my knees at night and “Please” in the morning. I was told to make time to calm the wild beast
that lives between my ears by listening to The Quiet of POWER GREATER. When I apply and discipline myself to do The Little Things, I am doing Thanks In Motion. I am engaging Humility. I am practicing GRATITUDE. I am depositing support, protection,
encouragement, the ability to remember to remember, acceptance, guidance, compassion, and so much more into the Universal Spiritual Bank. This Bank releases back to me the solutions I need to live Life on Life’s terms, One Day At A Time. This has
been my experience and that of many others, some of whom I know personally, others through hearing their stories in 12-step circles.
Today, I’m Blessed and Fortunate to work in the field of alcohol and addiction treatment (somebody must have been insane to think I was sane enough to do that), but what an opportunity! Although I can’t rely on my job to keep me sober, it reminds me daily
of the importance of Keeping It Simple. It reminds me of the importance of sharing compassion, the importance of nurturing my spirituality on a daily basis and most of all, the importance of GIVING THANKS for this Gift of recovery I’ve been so gracefully
For me, gratitude is not just my pink-cloudish feelings of appreciation for something I’ve somehow gained or acquired. It is more so my constant motion of Thankful Actions – My Attitude of Gratitude. I do this first because I must – my life depends
on it, literally. I do it repeatedly because it’s been working. I get results that are unexplainable in the physical realm, results I have not been able to attain through other means. I do it because it allows me CONTENTMENT. That’s all I’ve ever
wanted my entire life – to be comfortable and OK with me.
So, remember, no matter what life throws at you, always try to show appreciation and be thankful – remembering to always be Grateful.
“Every day may not be good…but there is something good in every day.” – Alice Morse Earle
Thanks for being a part of my journey.
One Love, Zebsaba